Today’s returned was Daniel Ouster. A 35-year-old man who died from a sudden brain aneurysm. Yikes! Why people were terrified of the occult was a mystery to me. There were plenty of known things going on in our own bodies that were incredibly more terrifying. Hence, why I became a doctor. My therapist has told me it was a way to control the uncontrollable, but I’d like to think it’s because with regular medical care people can easily live to be over 100.

The client would be arriving in 30 minutes. Usually, we liked to have the returned waiting on the doorstep, so to speak, when they took their seat. This allowed more time for everyone visiting to adjust to their new world. Although the clients were told what to expect ahead of time, they never failed to be scared out of their minds once the dead person on the table started walking and talking.

Mr. Ouster shouldn’t be too much trouble. He passed 42 hours ago. Typically, the longer a soul has vacated the body, the harder it was to get it back in. My pre-show incantation wasn’t showy, but it could be tricky. Best not to let outsiders see the sweat involved. It made me seem that much more impressive. Since this side gig was through word of mouth alone, I needed to come off as such.

“Rainey, are you ready?” I asked. I was now sitting at Mr. Ouster’s feet, and she had taken residence behind his head.

She responded, “Affirmative.”

I closed my eyes and began my meditation. Clean breathing was essential to staying calm and clear of mind. One flubbed word, and I could bring him back wrong or put something else in his place. The training curve in this field is steep because mess ups get people killed.

Breathe in: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Breathe out: one, two, three, four, five, six. I repeated that pattern for 60 seconds. When it was clear that my heart rate had slowed and I felt relaxed, it was time.

“Rainey, light the incense.” She nodded and began lighting the smudge stick. It consisted of sage, cedar, and lavender and helped to purify the room. Like I said, it’s not all woo woo. This bit of literal smoke and mirrors (there are mirrors lined around the room) helps to encourage the spirit to visit and stay long enough so we can put it back in its body.

When the room was good and fragrant, not to mention smoky, I began the chant, “Silimma hemeen, Daniel Ouster. I call to you from the tangible realm,” and placed a wrapped present on the empty man’s bare chest, “with this token of love and affection.” At this, Rainey stood with the smudge stick still in hand and began to circle the deceased. She was listening.

“Silimma hemeen, Daniel. Your wife misses you dearly and needs your help. Please join us on the mortal coil and pass along your wisdom.” It never fails to flatter spirits. Vanity doesn’t die even when you’re an incorporeal being that stretches into eternity.